During this past week, a colleague in the US told me of her sadness at witnessing children caught amid conflict between their parents (and their parents’ adversarial lawyers) about the pending holidays. It feels so injurious to one’s soul to witness this when you know the possibilities of a gentler, unifying way.
Closer to home, another colleague shared with me how worn down she is by the aggression she experiences from clients and professionals and the loss of courtesy and kindness she observes. As we pondered possible conference topics together, I found myself lamenting the situation we are in when kindness has become an education and professional development need and is a “revolutionary” and “hot topic” for professional conferences!
Social media then did that spooky thing where you are left wondering whether it has pervasively read your mind and served me this gem from our Australian Collaborative colleague and kindness warrior, Perpetua Kish: “…we’re here to help guide people out of the chaos, not add to it. At the end of the day, kindness, civility, and respect are what turn battles into breakthroughs”. Right on.
Those colleagues and I are not alone in our concern for the “rules of engagement” in our professional realm. As we move into a season of festivities around the world, it seems many in our professional community do so with pained hearts that question where is that battle-breaking kindness, civility and respect. Whether it is the grief and polarization borne out of political and societal conflicts or the closer-to-home stress of being personally stretched by work demands and navigating time pressured disputes, it is likely that too many of our kindness-radars are registering deficits.
Against this backdrop, it was with relief and gratitude that I remembered IACP has two excellent offerings for personal and professional growth in December. The first is the opportunity for IACP members to come together in community at the next Collaborative Club session. The second is the webinar on “Non-Defensive Communication” with Sharon Strand Ellison (who I saw IACP Board member Chris Arnold describe as “the bomb!”). Both provide brilliant opportunities to discuss what the world needs right now -Collaboration with its heart of kindness. Also, at least for my spirit, they provide the rich salve that comes from sharing the company of all of you, our IACP community.
Finally, this week, my community and chambers lost a great lawyer and human who I always noticed had a constant mischievous twinkle in her eye. Lee Lee Heah was described in media reports as a “fierce lawyer”. Fierce – a word with challenging connotations as it can be an antonym for kindness. The stories of my colleagues who worked closely with Lee Lee confirmed she was fierce in all the right ways - fierce at fairness, fierce of mind, fierce of spirit and fierce at life. I wondered how I might honor and deploy some of that quality so “Fierce Kindness” is my mantra this season and beyond! Perhaps you will join me and adopt it as one of your mantras also.
He waka eke noa – we are all in this together! | 
