One of the first questions clients ask is, “What is this divorce going to cost?” They almost always are inquiring about the cost in dollars and cents. They learn that there is also an emotional cost to divorce which can be the most expensive aspect of the divorce process.
Creativity, Innovation, and Collaborative Divorce
What do creativity and innovation mean to you? Imagination, invention, and ingenuity are vital elements of what I now do every day at work, in the collaborative dispute resolution process. It’s why, when I first witnessed the magic of collaborative practice, it shredded my life’s ambition of thirty years, “To make new law,” and reconstructed it into an even more epic goal, “To change the way the world gets divorced.”
Like Mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It is important to choose our words wisely. In the context of a collaborative divorce, this is truer than ever.
Some words are just plain fighting words and have no place in a collaborative divorce. Others are just unnecessary. Here are a few terms you might want to avoid:
How to make the best of the circumstances in which we find ourselves is a topic that has been written about and discussed throughout history. This is particularly apropos now, as we find ourselves in a worldwide pandemic. Being a person fortunate enough to have been born with “the optimist gene,” I read all I can on the topic of anything that motivates, inspires, or educates me on topics of interest. In today’s climate, I believe all of us can benefit from some extra inspiration and encouragement.
Nesting provides respite from marital conflict and a stable home for the kids.
A new trend has emerged called “Nesting” (sometimes called “Birdnesting”) while separated or divorcing. The retired hit sitcom “Splitting up Together” brought nesting into the mainstream. My interest in nesting goes back to 1994 when my ex and I nested for 15 months. Most people have not heard of "nesting" during divorce, or perhaps don't fully understand how it works.
I have learned when multiple folks tell me the same thing, there is probably some truth to the statements. Over the past year, I have often been told I need to “stay in my lane.” As a seasoned (aka old) professional, it was initially shocking to be confronted for over-stepping my roles in various cases then I realized……this is a symptom of being a Collaborative professional!
With all of the highly charged commentary about racial inequality and injustice in the news today, I recall a number of years ago being at breakfast at an IACP forum, looking around the room, and feeling a sense of curiosity and embarrassment, wondering “why are there so few people of color at the conference?”
Be The Advocate That Your Business Needs
Writers are often stereotyped as people staring at their computer screens while their spouses nag them about finding a "real job." Publishing is the hard bright line that separates the “dreamer” from the “success.”
You may not think you're a writer, but writing is how you share your business with the world. It's the late-night emails, newsletters, and promotional videos that communicate to people who you are and what you value. Your pitch is a thesis statement and your business model is the outline for how you prove your thesis.
Divorce hurts. There is little difference between LGBTQI couples and heterosexual couples. However, the dissolution of LGBTQI partnerships and marriages, as well as divorce from marriages in which one spouse has come out as LGBTQI, poses some additional challenges.
In this blog, we have collected the five most important reasons that make many LGBTQI people shy away from entrusting their case to a court and prefer the support of a Collaborative Practice (CP) team.
In 2006, I began a journey that I had previously only dreamed about. I returned to pursue my doctoral degree after 15 years in private practice as a psychotherapist, working primarily in the field of divorce. While on this path, I had to determine how I could utilize my program of study to not only enhance my career but make a significant difference in the field of Family Therapy, as well as the diverse populations who I served.